Funny Babysitting Captions for Instagram: We have all been there, babysitting our little brothers or sisters because our parents needed a night to themselves. They would leave us with nothing but old movies and a fridge full of pizza — that is until we discovered how to make funny captions for babysitting pictures with our phones.
If you are a babysitter, you know that each one of the kids is a different personality. Some kids just love the camera while others don´t. And it is easy to tell from their faces what they think about being in front of your phone looking like fools most of the time. Captions are helpful for descriptions or to just make the picture more interesting.
Funny Babysitting Captions for Instagram
• “My job is to make sure your child has something you never did growing up: a babysitter.”
• Babysitting is a great way to help a child learn how to behave. 👶
• The fun never stops when I’m babysitting #babysitter
• They can’t spell babysitting without an S, T, A, and Y.
• I’m your babysitter which means I decide when it’s bedtime and ice cream for dinner. #rules
• It’s not babysitting if you get paid and go home at the end of the night.
• If you’re excited to go out for the night, but also need a babysitter, are you excited or in trouble?
• Please don’t tell my mom, but I’m babysitting an adult.
• Dear diary, my babysitters don’t know I can read.
• The only thing you need to be afraid of is how much I’m going to spoil your kids tonight.
• Ketchup is a vegetable to my kid.
• Any excuse to turn my apartment into a toy store is a good one🤪
• You know you’re in for a good night when the parents leave you with a checklist of directions and a box of wine.
• If you want to know what a woman’s like, take a good look at how she treats her inferiors, not her equals.
• Not your average babysitter. I’m top-notch.
• “Babysitting – Just another word for dating the babysitter.”
• I love babysitting. Especially when the baby sits on me. 😜
• I’m a babysitter, what’s your superpower?
• I’m a babysitter, which means I have a higher tolerance for whining and messes than most moms.
• Watch your children closely. I can’t babysit tomorrow.
• I’m that crazy aunt who doesn’t watch what she says in front of the kids.
• Not all superheroes wear capes! Some wear diapers.
• One day, I’ll be able to leave my house again. Until then, I’m taking notes from you and your little one.
• Baby update: I found out I can squeeze a booger back in 👶
• It’s nap time and I’m the one that is tired.
• I’m paid to eat, play, and sleep (occasionally)
• One more time, because I know you missed it the first time.
• Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
• Babysitting is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it’s hilarious.
• My babysitting rates just went up, like my first grader’s age.
• I’m a babysitter. I leave children unsupervised for longer periods of time.
• If sleep is a priority for you, babysitting is NOT your calling.
• I can’t wait to babysit your grandkids!
• A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
• Be nice to your babysitter. She may be your stepmother someday.
• If you’re looking for a sitter, I’m available after 7 pm on weekdays and anytime on the weekend.
• Where did the time go? 😲
• Did you know it’s totally legal to kidnap your friends’ children and keep them in your house? Well, now you do.
• It may be my last day with the kids but it’s their first day back in school…
• Whoever said “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend” obviously never had a puppy.
• I promise to make sure the kids are cleaned and fed, but I can’t control the events of their lives. *shrugs*
• There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
• The best babysitters know how to rock a nap like a boss.
• I love babysitting. The pay is good and the kids teach me so much about myself.
• You don’t have to pay taxes on babysitting, right?!?
• I babysit. What’s your superpower?
• I might be a babysitter but I’ve never seen a monster like this.
• Having a child around you can be as much fun as he or she is a handful. As an adult, it’s your duty to teach them while they learn things the hard way.
• “Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” — Linda Wooten
• I watch your kids so you don’t have to.
• “I’m 99% sure this kid is allergic to naps.”
• “I can’t wait to hang with them again.”
• No matter how old I get, my mom still has the remote control to my life.
• Everything is fine. Go back to bed.
• Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
• We babysit because we love your kids, not because we like you.
• The best two words a mom can hear: I’ll babysit.
• I babysit. Dogs, cats, kids – it doesn’t matter as long as the rate is good.
• I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to babysit… so they can learn what I had to go through 🤫
• The only time I’m patient is when I’m waiting for a babysitting gig.
• If we were having a baby competition, I’d win. It would be me and the dog.
• Kids are like farts, you can only tolerate your own.
• You know it’s gonna be a long night when you don’t even have time to take a selfie.
• I’ll pay you in Netflix and pajama pants.
• The day turned out great. The kids are still alive. And so am I!
• If at first, you don’t succeed, give up and go home. 😂
• Disneyland: the real reason why parents drink.
• I’m not bossy, I have leadership skills.
• The cheese to my macaroni.
• Beware babysitters, I am a legal adult who is still very good at hide and seek!
• I babysit only because I love putting my feet up while watching someone else deal with a kid’s tantrum.
• Legos. Superheros. “Can I have a snack?” Repeat. #babysitting
• “I’m a babysitter, so that makes me a professional kid tamer.”
• I’m not babysitting; I’m child-sitting.
• Not babysitting, just getting a little extra practice in before I have my own!
• Little kids are cutest, but toddlers can climb stairs.
• The best memories are made when your kids are busy
• Thanks for letting me be your second mom!
• Sitting on the baby, so you don’t have to!
• I didn’t sign up for this.
• If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.
• A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.
• If at first, you don’t succeed, go to bed.
• When you’re babysitting and a kid wakes you up at 4 am but they’re already dressed and ready to go…
• Let a babysitter take care of your kids. I’ll take care of your Alcohol and Social Media Posts for the night!
• A good babysitter always gets a hug and a kiss goodnight. Or at least a do not disturb sign.
• I put the ‘s’ in babysitting.
• No one will ever believe you babysat a baby.
• I’m not babysitting and I’m not a nanny. I’m a Babyshionista.
• A babysitting job is a great way to get some extra cash. It can also be an excellent opportunity for you to explore your hobbies, like watching Netflix.
• If you can’t say something nice, babysit until you can.
• The only thing cuter than kids? Watching other people’s kids.
• The good news is that your kids are too short to run away; the bad news is that when they cry, you can’t see them from seven feet up.
• Kids say the darndest things… too bad they’re all little devils 💁
• Trying to make sense of a baby’s schedule is like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube — utterly impossible.
• The world is full of nice people. If you can’t find one, be one.
• I promise I’ll be the best babysitter you’ve ever had. Unless you didn’t like the last one.
• No matter how many times I tell them, people just don’t listen to me when I say I’m a babysitter.
• I babysit for a living, so when I tell people I’m adult sitting, they know to be afraid.
• Babysitting? More like babysitting back and watching Netflix…
• I’m your babysitter, and I’m here to eat all of your snacks.
• I don’t babysit. I just hang out with a tiny person for a few hours and sometimes they pay me.
• On babysitting: “The laundry gets done, the kids are all fed and bathed, I think my mom wants me to move in.”
• The difference between babysitting and kidnapping is the paperwork.
• Babies are like little suns that, in a magical way, bring warmth, happiness, and light into our lives.
• The kid is cute, but what about me?
• It’s nap time y’all!
• From the first time we met, it’s been everlasting. I will love you until my last breath.
• The most fun a human can have without being on fire.
• My babysitting skills are better than my photoshopping skills.
• My babysitting experience is limited to telling my younger brother he couldn’t have any more ice cream while my parents were out.
• If at first, you don’t succeed, babysitting is not for you.
• Child care is like a babysitting job, except you have to be there all the time.
• There are no better babysitters than full-sized candy bars.
• To babysit is to teach.
• “Babies are like little suns that, in a magical way, bring warmth, happiness, and light into our lives.”
• Do I smell a love connection? Nah, that was just the diaper! 😂
• If you’re having a bad day, share some of your calories with the kids.
• When my child was a child I read child stories to him. Now that he is a man he reads man stories to me.
Funny Babysitting Quotes for Instagram
• Fact: there is nothing more awesome than being a great babysitter.
• I have a babysitting job tonight. Pray for me. 😂
• 1. Take your time. I’m in no rush to grow up. 2. Babysitting: A job where you can teach a kid about dinosaurs and unicorns at the same time.
• If you’re looking for an Instagram caption that doubles as a pick-up line, we recommend this one.
• A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
• Why do they call it babysitting when there really isn’t any sitting involved?
• I’m a babysitter. I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe.
• Childcare expert is a just fancy way of saying “I know how to entertain children for money”.
• Before I became a mom, I always wondered why people felt the need to post pictures of their food. Now I get it! #broccoli
• Kids are like farts. They’re funny until you have to live with them. (Source)
• Good news: Baby is asleep. Bad news: I can’t remember where I put him.
• I played with Barbies until I was like 15. I used to make all the Barbies my babies and Ken was the babysitter. And I’d be like, “You have to watch them, Ken!”
• “This is called a playdate. If you hear screaming or loud thumping, everything is fine.”
• Sundays are for snuggles and naps, the perfect Sunday Funday.
• If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
• You are my favorite person to babysit and I would do it for free. But, you know money is good.
• My babysitting business is taking off, but everything else is falling apart!
• “What do you mean I get paid to play with kids?”
• I ran out of coffee today…said no babysitter ever.
• Raising kids is like being pecked to death by ducks.
• The most exhausting thing about parenting is pretending that I know what I’m doing.
• A vacation is when you take a trip to some warm destination and use your cell phone to take pictures of your food. (Jimmy Fallon)
• “They laugh because I am their mother.”
• “There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.”
• I’m here for the snacks and pay.
• *Kisses the baby* “Goodnight, Grandma!”
• Don’t be ashamed to need help. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you can’t deal with something on your own.” -Anonymous
• I’m not crazy. I’ve just been in a very bad mood for the last 30 years.
• I love babysitting! All the interesting stories come out when the parents are leaving. 👶
• The best babysitters don’t just watch your kids — they teach them valuable life lessons.
• A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
• If you think your kids are driving you crazy, try babysitting them for a day. Overnight is a bonus!
• Home is where the heart is. So is our babysitter’s bank account.
• Keep your friends close, your enemies closer… and your babysitters on speed dial.
• Who needs a superhero when you can babysit?
• I would have put on some makeup and a nice outfit if I knew I was going to be babysitting today.
• Parenting is simple, but it’s not easy.
• Caring for my children is a 24*7 job and I will not take another one.
• By the time they’re three years old, they can outsmart you.
• “So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause.” – Padmé Amidala in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
• All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us
• Babysitting is a lot like being a camp counselor except you only get to choose the kids if you’re the parent.
• The quickest way to a babysitter’s heart is by texting instead of calling.
• As a babysitter, I know how to make a baby laugh. I just tickle the adult who is paying me
• Babysitters don’t really babysit anymore, they entertain a baby until he goes to sleep.
• It’s always good fun babysitting until you hear a small voice behind you say “I smell your bum.”
• When a mother says, “Do you want me to stay home?” and the kid says “no!”
• Kids are the only people who ask “Why?” and actually want an answer.
• You know your kids have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
• I cannot really remember when it was that I last got a full night’s sleep. My eyelids have now become expert at staying up for days on end, only getting their rest when my toddler does.
• If you can’t get them off your screen, get them off the streets.
• “Remember when we used to pretend the floor was lava and dance around like idiots? That’s me now.”
• Life is a journey, not a destination.
• If you find a job you like, you’ll never work a day in your life. I love babysitting.
• I’m a babysitter, which is pretty much like a real-life version of the final level of Pac-Man.
• I babysit because sitting is more fun than standing.
• A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
• Always be yourself unless you can be the babysitter. Then always be a babysitter.
• It’s the weekend so I’m officially available for babysitting, housekeeping, and all other tasks that require my immediate attention.
• Sitting is my specialty. I’m one of the youngest, most professional sitters in the world.
• Taking care of a baby is a job that is never done.
• Kids are the best excuse you have to act like a kid again.
• No, I do not have time for a second kid, but don’t worry. You can borrow mine for a few hours.
• Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then, always be a unicorn. #babyunicorn
• There is always a wild side to an innocent face.
• “So many kids, so little cannibalism.”
• I’d like to be under the sea, in an octopus’s garden in the shade.
• “Babysitting is a great way to spend the night. It doesn’t require much responsibility, and for the most part, you can do whatever you want and get paid for it.”
• I started babysitting when I was twelve years old. I didn’t know anything about babies, so I just assumed they were some kind of small pet that needed to be entertained and fed.
• It’s okay to not finish your coffee when babysitting. It’s okay to drink it cold. Also, it’s okay to drink two at a time.
• I’m not a babysitter. I’m a preschool teacher with no class.
• My babysitter called me demanding more money. I told her it’s not my fault she doesn’t know how to count.
• I don’t babysit. I just hang out with a tiny drunk person.
• I think that my babysitting skills would be much more useful in a zombie apocalypse than actual combat.
• Babies are cute and cuddly, except when it’s time for them to go home
• The way to a child’s heart is through his stomach. That’s why I’m so pudgy. 😍
• Being a parent means never having to say you’re sorry.
• I’ll keep the children, you take the dog. We’ll call it even.
• I’m The Reason Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Taylor Swift
• Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. ~Albert Einstein
• If you think hiring a professional is expensive, wait until you hire an amateur.
• Babysitting is easy. I can get a 7-year-old to lie down covered with a blanket, pretend she’s asleep and stay that way for hours as long as I sit next to her and stroke her forehead.
• Babysitting job requires only “Mother Teresa” type patience.
• A babysitter is someone who plays a game of hiding and seeks with kids but is only looking for the parents.
• A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
• I’m not saying I’m a good babysitter, but I’ve made it through 24 hours without calling the police. So that’s a step in the right direction.
• I don’t always babysit people’s kids. Just kidding, I only do it when I need the money.
• You know your parents are getting old when they ask you to babysit the family.
• On my way to babysit, which is fancy talk for “playing with kids”
• My babysitter doesn’t understand why I’m still awake when he gets home at 1 a.m.
• I’m not a regular nanny, I’m a cool nanny.
• I may not be the fastest baby runner, but I’m definitely the cutest.
• And no baby, you can’t have the iPad.
• Kids are a great reason to stay home, but they’re also a good reason to go out.
• The most important things in life have to do with our family, friends, and loved ones.
• I may just be a babysitter, but I’m also the fun aunt.
• Babysitting is easy. Eating a bag of chips in a house with no children – now that’s hard.
• Every child needs a babysitter, but not every babysitter needs a child!
• I’m a babysitter, which means I’m pretty much a professional parent.
• Whoever said ‘do what you love’ has clearly never had to babysit 3 children under the age of 5.
• I am going to treat your children like my own and buy them candy, ice cream, and toys.
• Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home and if they hate you, they will let everyone know.
• Remember that one time I gave you a teddy bear? Yeah…I want it back.
• If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it the way mom does it.
• Baby you’ll move mountains.
• “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” – Leo J. Burke
• Where do you get your protein? Strangers
• My babysitting skills have come a long way since I was a little girl. Today, instead of playing house with my dolls, I babysit and play video games.
• Babysitters don’t get paid enough to deal with this kind of shenanigans 😂😂😂
• You know you are a babysitter when your own kids are playing with the toys that you used to put in their mouths for the parents you’re babysitting for…
• “I do not want to be a babysitter. I want to be a ‘kid-sitter’ that just sits in the corner and eats Cheetos while the kids play happily together.”
• “My babysitter just texted me: ‘I’m making mac and cheese. What’s your favorite type?’ I told her: ‘The one that tastes like $20.’
• I’m the babysitter, not the baby whisperer.
• This is my babysitter’s face.
• Sometimes you just need your mom, a glass of wine, and a babysitter.
• My job is to make sure kids have a great time and leave wanting to come back, not the other way around.
• Looking for a night out? We know some pretty awesome kids who may need a sitter.
• Some people don’t believe in heroes, but they haven’t met my babysitter.
